“More like MOLLY Cyrus,” shrieked the Disney star as she dumped three grams into a tall-boy Bud Light Lime. “Only God can judge us! Forget the haters, ’cause somebody loves drugs!” She paused as the world shifted into raw, undulating patterns of light and sex and magic. “Damn,” she said. “That was pretty good, right? I’m feeling really rhymey right now, y’all. ” Everyone on the tour bus shook their heads, praying they didn’t have to stop by another strip club. Miley’s weary assistant opened her mouth. “She’s just being–”
“We know, we know,” everyone said in unison.
“Tryna get IN line in the bathroom,” mused the pop star. “Tryna get A line in the bathroom. Ohmygod. I’ve got my next single. Call Mike WiLL Made-It.”
This song is the best thing to ever happen to 2013. Stream it below.
STREAM: Miley Cyrus – “We Can’t Stop”